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April 26, 2012 / austreberto

Day twenty-six

unfortunately this is a true story


as a child

i had trouble aiming

for the toilet


was told real men stand

while they pee


i hope that real men also were sculled by their mothers

after they missed

while they stand

because that happened

a lot

(i’m as manly as they come

if that be the case)


learned in school that women could not stand

while they pee

because they do not have a penis


my mother does not have a penis

(at least i’m pretty sure she doesn’t)

so she does not understand

just because i aim straight

does not mean it goes straight



it goes rouge

while being a man



(and during other things

i’m sure

…not that i would know

at this age)


but i’ve learned

real men can stand

while they pee

they can also sit

but they also clean up after themselves if they miss


(they also put the seat down)


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