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May 8, 2012 / austreberto

the teenage years (another confession)

(Another poem in the series I started during National Poetry Month about my experience/view on religion and people associated with it.)


the teenage years (another confession)


i like to masturbate during sunday morning church bells

that ring one block down from where i live


makes me feel closer to god

as if we high five every time i do it


*high five*



it feels good


every monday

the pastor approaches me

with that evil look in his eyes

rambling off about some guy named stan

and says

i know what you did


i always reply

that’s really creepy

and perverted

not that i know what you’re talking about


pretty sure god frowns upon peeping toms like you


and ask for forgiveness


he was old school

started back when they would beat kids

for questioning anything about god

as if there were no other options in life


been telling little ones for years

that hair will grow

on the palms of your hands

when you do that


in my growing years as a boy

i have discovered

that hair has grown all over my body

i’m a hairy motherfucker


it’s grown everywhere but there


the pastor is a liar

pretty sure god frowns upon that too


even worse

i’m pretty sure that god had a shit-fit

when that pastor was arrested

internet sting


for talking to underage girls online


i think he wanted to high five god

like me

but not for the same reasons


*high five*



i’m sure his confessions would outdo anything i could ever dream of trying


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