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May 18, 2012 / austreberto

how to pick up bitches: advice from a dawg

how to pick up bitches: advice from a dawg

 

he was such a ladies’ man

it came natural to him

women just flocked around

 

between the two of us

he easily got more attention

 

he said

listen up bud

i’m only gonna tell ya this once

 

he scratched his ear

 

so take good notes

 

he nibbled his backside

 

first of all

you need a good coat

nice and shiny

 

that’s how you get their attention in the first place

 

he knew what he was talking about

his was beautiful

 

but ya gotta find out who’s a good match

 

come up from behind

get a good long whiff

don’t be afraid to get right in there

 

this is usually well received

 

if ya liked what you smelled

then give her face and nose a good lick

 

again

this is usually well received

 

for any reason

if she is hesitant

give her the puppy dog eyes

and let her scratch your belly

 

pretend she found that spot

that makes your leg go nuts

 

works every time

 

and

if you’re lucky

you can hump her leg

 

we both looked around

found a cutie walkin towards us

and he goes

go for it kid

this one’s all yours

 

and we bumped fists

 

Meet Dillon (and me).

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