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January 13, 2013 / austreberto

the day before

This was originally going to be a “journal entry” of random thoughts, but about half way through it turned into a poem (maybe even a few poems).  I’ll play around with this later.

Bon appetit.

The day before:

You take on life as it happens.

I am constantly entering new chapters in my life.  There is always a mystery of what’s to come that makes me want to jump for joy and piss my pants at the same time.  It never ceases to amaze me.

Every year is the same, yet different.  There’s that mystery but it never reveals itself the same way twice.  That’s the scary part.

Sometimes I worry there will be a brick wall.  I’ll still be surprised even if I saw it coming, even if I built it myself the night before.

Self sabotage.

Sometimes I feel like life will keep me in check when things are going my way for too long.  Waiting for something that probably won’t happen, but if it does, that will be my way to say “I knew it was too good to be true,” even though it was something completely unrelated.

Bad things happen all the time.

Sometimes to good people.

It’s why I don’t believe in karma.

Sometimes bad people never make that connection that they should probably turn their attitudes around and march right back to their fathers.

While others wonder, “what did I do to deserve this…”

Sometimes we are stuck in the crosshairs.

Collateral damage.

Hopefully you’ve got good life insurance.

We create miniature hells on earth every day.

We are gluttons for punishment, but we never meant to suffer so much while living.

Always keep coming back even though we already know the outcome.

I’ve seen this dance before, but I forgot all the steps last week.

I have started and ended new relationships

fifteen years worth

every day in my sleep

heartbreaker

bandaids

(the ones with the ninja turtles)

i am proud of the holes in my heart

i gladly accept the defeats i’ve had

because i know i won’t win every time

if i did win every time

this life

would be boring

defeats make the victories worth while

when they happen

if they happen

 

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