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April 9, 2013 / austreberto

fighting back (day nine)

On the fourth day of this year’s 30/30 challenge, I wrote about how it (roughly) felt like when I realized that I had fallen into depression.  I consider myself lucky that it was only a short period of time, but I am proud of myself all the same.

This is a response, my effort to work against my depression and anxiety, and a healthy reminder to maintain what I have today.  Sometimes, it ain’t easy, but I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again.

 

fighting back

 

the day i realized what was going on

it was a scary thing

 

there was nothing there

 

i was afraid of nothing

 

nothing

 

i’ve been afraid of real things

 

things that i could hold

(but not necessarily would want to hold)

 

like spiders

 

(and rightfully so

because spiders are scary shit)

 

but there was nothing

 

nothing to hit

push back

or even to talk to

(unless talking to yourself counts)

 

my fists were useless

but my heart was not

 

it was not afraid of anything

including nothing

especially nothing

(bring it on bitch)

 

and it was a dirty fighter

(biter

scratcher

what’s that over there

right hook

and kick ya while yer down)

 

i want to get back to normal

if there is such a thing

 

and i’m going to do whatever it takes

to get there

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