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April 9, 2013 / austreberto

fighting back (day nine)

On the fourth day of this year’s 30/30 challenge, I wrote about how it (roughly) felt like when I realized that I had fallen into depression.  I consider myself lucky that it was only a short period of time, but I am proud of myself all the same.

This is a response, my effort to work against my depression and anxiety, and a healthy reminder to maintain what I have today.  Sometimes, it ain’t easy, but I’ve done it before and I know I can do it again.


fighting back


the day i realized what was going on

it was a scary thing


there was nothing there


i was afraid of nothing




i’ve been afraid of real things


things that i could hold

(but not necessarily would want to hold)


like spiders


(and rightfully so

because spiders are scary shit)


but there was nothing


nothing to hit

push back

or even to talk to

(unless talking to yourself counts)


my fists were useless

but my heart was not


it was not afraid of anything

including nothing

especially nothing

(bring it on bitch)


and it was a dirty fighter



what’s that over there

right hook

and kick ya while yer down)


i want to get back to normal

if there is such a thing


and i’m going to do whatever it takes

to get there


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