Skip to content
April 24, 2013 / austreberto

i hate the slogan from kay jewelers (day twenty-four)

i hate the slogan from kay jewelers


dear kay jewelers


while you are correct with your spelling that every kiss does

in fact

begin with the letter K


you are unaware that this may be truer for some than others


fall 2001

last dance of homecoming


awkward was in season

and i wore it well


at fifteen

i received my first kiss

from a girl

named kay


i am reminded of this

every time i hear your little diddy


every kiss begins with kay

because it actually did

for me


it’s not a friendly reminder

because it was less of a kiss

and more of a clash of two orifices

of epic proportions


it was much like a stubborn child trying to fit a square wooden block through a circle


it just didn’t work


her lips

had no softness to them

(but i think that said more about me

than it did about her

because i had no clue what i was doing)


it was so bad that i was afraid that i was going to hate kissing for the rest of my life


how pleasantly surprised i was when i found out how wrong i was

(i should be wrong more often

if that was the outcome)


so thank you kay jewelers

for the mini trips through memory lane every time a commercial of yours plays


but please

change your slogan


i know it’s clever

and you’re probably very proud of it


but it’s more of a coincidence that kay and the letter K are the same sound


it’s time for a new look

especially since you’ve been playing the same thing since around the time i got my first kiss


i’d like to think that i influenced you somehow



the formerly awkward fifteen year old



your open hearts collection by jane seymour is butt ugly

stop making them



Leave a Comment
  1. orour1lc / Apr 24 2013 7:52 pm

    Hahahahaha I literally just laughed outloud…you rock my world.

  2. lifeonmygayisland / Apr 24 2013 8:26 pm

    That’s funny. You’re good!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: