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August 1, 2013 / austreberto

Happiness is right under our feet

So I never intended for this blog to turn into personal journal entries.   Frankly, I’m not a fan of journaling, mostly because my hand cramps up like a mugfugger.  I could just type everything up from the get go, but I enjoy sitting down with a notebook and a pencil.  Even right now.  It’s a Kentucky Thursday morning.  I’ve got a warm cup of coffee and I’m sitting in a screened in porch, listening to the birds and bugs and the occasional car pass by.  It’s very peaceful (hold on, the neighbor’s cat, Carl, is here.  I’m going to feed him).  It’s a perfect morning.  So I’ll endure more writing because I want to get my thoughts out.  They are ideas that could very well transform into poetry, which is an experience that couldn’t make me happier even if I tried.

I’ve learned a lot over the last month with my recent experiences (the previous entry talked a lot about it, if you want to catch up).

The phrase “you are the company you keep” is something that rings that much truer to me.  I’ve lived in Murray for about a year, excluding the last two months while I was in Ohio.  I have met some of the most sincere and amazing individuals who have brought a brightness in my life that I did not think possible.  It’s refreshing.  One of the problems that I had is that I left that to try and find something better.  I thought I did have something better.  It was good, until it got bad.  Long story short, I found myself surrounded by some of the most negative and unkind people I have ever met who always sought out the negative side of life even when things were pretty good.  A significant problem is that I was in love with one of them.

You are the company you keep.

I found myself changing the more that I was around these people.  I was becoming bitter.  I caught myself being unappreciative of things that I normally cherished, and I did not like that.  Worst of all, I almost started to hate myself.  In order for me to stay there, I had to change myself.   I cannot and will not change myself (Poo.  Someone is mowing…).

Another thing I learned is that I will not settle.  If I had stayed, I would have done just that.  My life is too precious and too short for me to expect anything less than the best.

“Forget how you may have settled for looks and made up all the rest.” -Buddy Wakefield (I know I quote this guy a lot.  Probably too much, but, dammit, he knows what he’s talking about)

I can look at everything that I have in my life right now and truly say that I am content with where I am.  I have the best family that anyone could ask for, amazing friends that put forth 110% effort (and I gladly do the same to them), and I am finishing up my education for my masters.  There are big things in my future (if you think “that’s what she said,” I swear to god I’ll… do something. DON’T RUIN MY JOURNAL).  I am in a good place mentally, physically, and emotionally.

And, most importantly, I like me. 🙂

 

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One Comment

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  1. Amanda / Aug 1 2013 9:06 am

    Beautiful, Asher! Just beautiful! You are a blessing in my life 🙂

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