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April 5, 2015 / austreberto

i should have listened to you general ackbar (day five)

i should have listened to you general ackbar

i have clicked your links out of curiosity one too many times to find the anticlimactic videos of daily happenstance
adorable animals
kindness of strangers
and babies being
well
babies

i didn’t jump out of my seat
break out in tears
fall to the floor
and i did believe my eyes when i saw it over and over and over and over and over again
because this shit happens all the time

youtube videos through secondary websites no one’s heard of
though i think buzzfeed and upworthy started the trend
shouting at you in capital letters
that i end up reading with my angry voice in the most inconvenient of places like a library or a funeral home
because that shit needs to liven up a little

MAN TRIES TO MATE WITH LION
YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

yeah
i’ll bite

HE DIED
or got some sweet sweet lion tail (is that redundant)

but joke’s on him because when maury tells him that he’s the father
he’ll have to start paying lion cub child support

but we’re overlooking the most important fact of all

you just got baited to click on something that added absolutely no value to your life
and easily could have spent that time with just white noise

at least that would have been peaceful

her teacher made her answer her phone in class
but he would end…

cutting off half way through sparks our intrigue

sure i’ve seen that video
spoilers
it’s an april fool’s prank
but what does the rest of that sentence say

i don’t care that i’m giving you my internet browser history and information when i click
most of that is cat videos and porn anyway

I MUST KNOW

*CLICK*

i took the bait
and found that the rest of the title fitting how i felt

he would end up regretting it

yes internet
yes i did

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