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April 7, 2015 / austreberto

if i were to have a son (day seven)

if i were to have a son

you are merely a shimmer in my eye of a future that i hope to have
and when we first meet
i will have so much to tell you

now
i have emotionally prepared myself for all the questions you will ask

before you speak
you will ask with your eyes hands and mouth
leaving breadcrumbs of slobber wherever you go

your mother and i will baby proof the entire house
and stock up on sanitation wipes

but you will enter the age when your favorite word is WHY

and just so you know
i have nearly perfected my response

because i said so
which will fit most scenarios

but you will quickly learn
like you always will
that with every response
every explanation
every reason
that i will not have every answer in the world
but i can give you my best for what i do know

for your questions like
why is the sky blue
why are grapes so delicious
why is the other side of my pillow so cool
why does mommy get really grouchy once a month

uhhh

i’ll tell you when you’re older

but there will come a time where you will ask questions with that same word that are nearly impossible to answer

why did she leave me
why does this hurt so much
why won’t this pain go away

why am i falling
why are you always there to catch me

because i love you

no
i have not met you
but i already carry so much love
and so much hope that will you grow up to be a man
a good man
and i will have so much pride for you
because i already do

but if during the process where you are growing inside of your mother’s belly
that you receive that one chromosome that makes you a baby girl
then everything still remains the same

my love
my dedication
and for what it counts
my wisdom if it fits

you’re just not allowed to date until you graduate from college

as for all the rest

well
ask your mother

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